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Twenty years ago today, the city of Chicago was the site of one of the funniest incidents of human-waste dumpage in all of pop-music history. The Dave Matthews, staying in a Chicago hotel during a two-night stand at East Troy, Wisconsin’s Alpine Valley Music Theatre, were en route to the venue. There’s a good chance that you already know what happened after that, but keep reading anyway. It’s a story that I never get sick of hearing.
The DMB had chartered five different tour buses for the occasion. The bus assigned to violinist Boyd Tinsley, no longer in the band for reasons unrelated to this whole escapade, was crossing Chicago’s Kinzie Street Bridge when its driver dumped 800 pounds of human waste from the bus’ blackwater tank into the Chicago River. (I can only hope that all 800 pounds did not belong to Dave Matthews and/or Boyd Tinsley, but we can’t rule it out.)
All that human shit went right through the bridge’s riveted grating and onto Chicago’s Little Lady, an open-roof sightseeing boat that was on an architecture tour that unfortunate day. Dozens of the boat’s passengers and their belongings were soaked. The boat returned to the dock, and the passengers were given refunds. After a police investigation, the bus’ driver was sentenced to community service, and the band paid a few hundred thousand dollars in fines, while also donating more money to groups protecting the river. Last year, Riot Fest erected a plaque on the bridge to commemorate the poop-dump.
The great DMB crap-cascade hasn’t had too much lasting impact on the legacy of the Dave Matthews Band, who will be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame this year. Dave Matthews, a man on the right side of history, is free to attend Cubs games in Chicago without anyone running to the bathroom, shitting in a beer cup, and then dumping it on his head in retaliation. Last night, Chicago’s Fox 32 News ran a story on the 20th anniversary of the great Dave Matthews Shit Dump.
In the delightful news report, we see the 20-year-old footage of Chicago’s Little Lady Capt. Sonja Lund saying. “It was pretty… pretty disgusting. I don’t even know if I can describe to you how disgusting it was.” News reporter Dane Placko, clearly relishing his opportunity to comment on the moment, calls it “an execrable excerpt in a city flush with history.” Placko also uses the phrases “slurry slam” and “sickening soaking.” Does this guy write his own material? Everyone involved in this story deserves a raise. Watch it below.
As Dane Placko notes, Chicago venue the Hideout is marking the anniversary tonight with a sold-out dance party. It’s called Don’t Drink The Water.